Tricks or Treats?

Whose your favorite representative figure during Halloween?

a)Jack O'Latern aka the PUMPkin~


b)Mr Skeleton or I prefer that one from Nightmare Before X'mas~



c)Witchy Mich & her solitaire C8t

-That was a year back?

d)Others

-That was my 5 bucks donations for that deaf blond.=)

Hehz.

We love this week, don't we?

If only every week in the year is like this.

Work.Rest.Work.Rest.Work.Weekends.

Happy Halloween,people.

And if only this is as widely celebrated here.


...








Come to think of it,it's rather weird to see Asians knocking on every doors of HDB flats and said their lines.




Yes,we are stereotypicated.









Tweakertweats!

Minus the all grumpy part of yesterday

We visited Geylang Serai last evening.
It was the 2nd time and I kinda made eating Ramli burgers an once in a year thing.

It was my first time eating Ramli burger last year over there.It was a drizzling one last year.
Haha.

It was nice.Though hot and humid and really over crowded, but it was good.

The BEST thing I reckon from touring all these big 'pasar malam' is that I NEVER manage to get anything.
Haha.
Not the clothes, not the accessories, not even the tibits.
I dunno why.

Of cos' the very best thing above that is you are with me.

=)

A long one...

Today was a rather tantrumtic one for me him.
Tonight was a rather nostalgic one for me.

I thought of many things and people.
So where should I begin after all.
Did think of separating each "shoutout" under individual entry but blah~it's rather troublesome.

1) To my inquisitive nature

Many things I don't pry.
I let people tell me themselves.
BUT that doesnt mean I don't know a thing beforehand.
Sometimes I do catch something already.
However such are not done on purpose. I dunno how but by some sheer luck/fate,I manage to know a little.
But sometimes it is pure feeling/intuition.Trust me, it worked for me.
But I don't say a thing till you decide to open to me.

2)To Jason whose kinda bothered by my insecurity and inquisitive nature?

However I wish I could say the same for Jason.
Is it natural or is it overboard in some ways?
In a way I know it is perfectly just girlfriends' nature to want to know everything in and out,past and present about their boyfriends.
It doesnt mean that we are really that insecure. Maybe it does explain that we are but it is just...natural?
I only know that even if I know anything from there,I wont feel very bad unless it's something I take it personally.

That last pic incident (which was too something we argued in MSN earlier this morning.) was nothing too bad,I swear.
I didnt take it as badly as you thought so.
How do I explain that?
Initially I was pissed in a way.
I guess it doesnt matter to me if you look at 'them' on the streets.
I guess it doesn't matter to me if 'they' are someone big and famous.
I guess it doesn't matter to me if 'they' are some R21 materials. (Lolz)
But it does matter to me when they are nothing wow and ain't I good enuff for you?(in that department)
Of cos~I KNOW that those were tongue in cheeks kinda stuff & if I really mind,I wouldnt have even bother you at all.

I cant do anything about my insecurities. Nothing takes them away but sure you lessen them.
Perhaps such insecurity will always remain a part of me.
I know I take things for granted a lot and you become one of them.
But I know,I do realized the role you played in this point of my life.

Many people if not all, take me as someone strong,independent and all.
But you know I’m not.=)

Somehow when I’m with you,all the independence, strong heart vaporized.
I am as kiddish as a 3 year old. I love to whine, to throw tantrums, to do things you like and dislike just to for you to pour the full attention to me.

Maybe this is not fair and good.
Maybe it even seems im making use of this love for me to get something that I am missing out all my life.
That amount of attention and patience is hardly present,unless again I failed to recall and realize.

But I love to be that lil gal trapped in a 21 body of mine when im with you.
I love it when you say im cute/adorable and I knew you mean it.
I love to see you laugh over my stupidity.

It is very amazing that who I am with you alone is so different compared to when im alone.

True is that I will still be that solitaire c8t sometimes.
True is that I will still yearn to be alone and yet want you to be here sometimes. (speaking of all the tough situations if you were my boyfriend.)

I am so complicated outside yet I am so simple inside.

Do you take me for who I am?

I know you do.

3) to my brothers

Lately I vaguely remembered the times when we are really siblings.
It is not that we are not now. We will always be.
We aint so close before but we aint that far off.

I know that my elder brother aint having a good life over UK now.
From that ‘accident’ sms, I know it. Yet I kept it.

He is someone that I kept distance from as I grow.
And that distance grows with me.

The memories of us playing together were hazy now but still they are dear.
I always wish for a brother that would love me to bits like those dramas or so.
I guess it is the wish of every younger sister?

He brought us lots of pain and disenchantment.
Who I am today, I thought was partly due to him.
I gave that thought out. It has nothing to do with my bro. It is the way I am.

Though that still doesnt make it easy for me to try to “forgive” the pain he brought.
I practically deemed him as a liability for us. I am so sad and shame to admit but I really felt so.
Even till now,I have not quite change my view on that.

Rem’ last year, my house broke fire?
I was so grieved that both my brothers chose to stay away instead of living in that ‘black’ house and try to be a support for my parents. (who were both shattered then.)
I was angry with them or rather him.

But still I cannot forget that $60plus Adidas shoes he bought for me either for bday or something I couldnt remember at AMK Sportslink.

That was my first sports shoes.
I wore it all the way till Poly year 1 until I decided that it really looked too ‘man’ for a poly gal.
Ha.

If I am not wrong, that too was his first gift for me.

Too I cannot forget the times we played TV games together.
Laughing so hard and playing so long.

Neither can I forget you are the one that really make me guy-ish~ to say. Cos you bring me to (guys’) comics, RPG games etc.

And I cannot forget how mom literally begged you to come back on phone yester-night.

I didn’t really wish for your return but you aint doing good over there either.

When can you learn?
Prove me wrong by being someone worthy of my respect and love once more.

You are after all my brother.
Nothing can change that.


And to my younger one.

I didn’t exactly like you BUT I LOVE you more so.

Ha.
Yester-night, you brought out those toddler photos of yours.
So adorable!
(how did you become lidat, I always ask.)

I very much regretted of not doting you more esp when you are young.

Infact I was very mean to you those days. You and I were like wicked step mother (me) to snow white.

You always become my venting machine.
I am so sorry,my dear brother.
I cant help me. Ha.

Y’know, I am eventually grateful for a younger brother.
I could have been more ‘autistic’ in a way without you.

I know how you suffered from my “abuses” since young but I too took a lot of blows from you.

It started from me pulling your hair and you biting me to staring at each other to mean verbal abuses to you whacking a big blow on my elbow using those bamboo sword(you know,those kendo ones.).

I really wish that was the last though we still shout at each other, and I foresee that for a little while more.

You are mean, rude, impetuous and all.
I hope you get some control as you grow.

A fine man I see in you.

I never mean to put you down all the times.
Well~A sister gotta do what a sister gotta do.
Haha.

We have lots of bad memories but we have MORE good ones.
Those silly things that we did together is a secret between you and me.

Someday we will all grow old and will have our own life.

But I wish those memories of us fighting our guts out and yet laughed like shite~ the next morning will never fade.

Sigh.
I wish we can go back. I will show you how much I really love you as a brother.
Now aint late but sometimes such things have become weird if you were to practice it now.

4)To a secret recipe. Hehz.

On my way to work this morning, I suddenly recalled this “secret recipe”.

My dad used to has his own stall of chicken rice down my block.
My dad is an excellent cook. Those who know me always hear this. Those who know him will reckon that.
He made his own sauce.

I remembered once every –when-, he would begin to make his own sauce.
A big metal pot.
A no of bottles of soy sauce.
One or two Maggi,erm,I think its MSG sauce?
A packet of SIS sugar.
A wooden paddle spoon.

First pour in all the soy sauce.
Add in the sugar.
Stir.
I always helped to stir though I dislike it cos its very tiring.
My hand always ached from the stiring but still its fun.
Dipped your finger and taste it. (My fav part 1)
Pour in the Maggie (MSG) sauce.
I love to dip my finger to taste that Maggie sauce. I know it is not good for health but who cares?
Continue stirring.
Taste it.
Once voila~pour them in plastic drink bottles thru the funnel.
Very fun!

This whole chunk of memory stroked me outta the blue.

It made me smile and too sad.

5)To my parents

I am never the affectionate daughter.

I grew up seeing how both of you worked all your lives.
I grew up wishing that I grow up so I can bring you folks a better life that you deserve.

Yet this is how my insecurity brews.
I cant never stop envying other kids who had their parents spending them with them. Or rather have enough time to spend time with them to do simple things.
Till now this has become part of who I am.
Doesn’t matter to me at all.

It kinda frustrates me that how till now I aint working towards the ‘aim’ that I wish to achieve for you.

Many a times I stop at the point that I thought I am just trying to make myself sound and look better infront of others by playing a filial daughter.

I WISH that I can be as straight fore as how I am at blogging when it comes to expressing in tongue.

Towards the people whom so close to me at heart, I realized I cant. And that includes Jason.
As if it would kill me to tell you how much I love you.

I hope by the little things I do, you know that I care.

Actually I know you are very happy and proud of me.
But I aint proud but ashamed of myself.

Cos’ I am STILL not giving you a life that I want you to have.

And now I wonder how long it will take me to do that.

It sheds me so much to witness the bad things between both of you sometimes that I rather Im not at home, pretending I dunno a thing.

I too wish to go back once more.

Missed the chance to whine like hell to you.

I missed it and I really miss that.

6) To the next entry.

I knew this is gonna be long and I dun want to carry on.
Such are enough for you to hear most of me.

Maybe there can be somemore.

I know that life aint about rewinding all the time.




But....




Sometimes I am afraid to look forward cos’ I dun wanna lose anything from now again. (like the past.)

We meet and we part. Part & Parcel of Life...

Today is Cindy's last day of attachment with us.

Well as of this point of my life, such parting is no longer foreign to me.
At one certain point,I learned that there's nothing too hard to let go or to be too sad about it.
Sure the kinda of sadness remains but we all know that it wont live too long.

Changes of class.
End of vacation job.
End of attachment.
End of contract job.
Met lots of wonderful people.
We come and go.

Honestly it felt a little lonely.
We were all left with that kind of sweet bitter taste and soured feel.

As the clinche said, this is not an ending but just another beginning.
Everything is.
Guess that makes us feel much better.

Honestly I love Cindy.
She's my junior too!We are from the same college,same diploma and even the major.
Serendipity, I called that.
Ha...Sigh.

We took quite a few photos.
This always happened during the ending cos' we all know that things will not stay the same forever.
As times changes, so do everything else.
Moving on with times,I called that.

Well~It's gonna take me sometime to re-adjust to everything starting next Monday.
C'est la vie~=)

We meet & we part.
Tis' part & parcel of life.
Till the next time,take good care my friends.

Beautiful chapters you all are.
Length of time is not the factor of cos'.

I hope you know who you are.

Love,
Mich

Nobody says the world is fair...

He takes you out and he takes you up
'cause he can show you so much
I go to bed and tomorrow again there's a lot of work to be done

He gives you gold and he'll promise you the whole world will be yours
I just can tell you I love you so even though my odds are low

Chorus:
I'm not an actor I'm not a star and I don't even have my own car
But I'm hoping so much you'll stay that you will love me anyway

The dirty games and the neonshows this is the world he knows
Watching the stars satisfies my soul thinking of him makes me feel so cold
The fancy cars and the restaurants you're just so fond of the man Sometimes I wonder if you are blind can't you see, he's got dirt on his mind


-The Actor -MLTR

The very first song from them that knocks my heart.

Um...
Nothing to write,I guess.
Another unproductive day for me,I loathe deeply!

ARGH!

She has no time!

I've been blinking blankly at this screen for the hundred and tenth seconds.
I thought...
If the world ain't that full of tragics,would my life be happier?

Duh.
Not that the world affects to me.The macro doesnt have that big impact on my micro.
I'm trying to talk like what I had learnt in Economics previously.
Like shit,though I loved it.

So what about me,what about life,what about what?

I guess I couldnt really figure out why some people always seem happier and some not.
Facade!
I told myself it's all facade!
And I don't care,I really don't give a hoot!
And really it's not that if I give a damn,things will change.
The happy people won't become sadder if I care.
The sad people won't become happier too if I care.
Oh would they?
Maybe for that split second or two, their lives resumed the way it were then.

I badly wish I could detach my soul from this shell for a moment.
Give me some time to see what's happening,what has been happening.
Give me some time to digest and give some time to plan.

What have I lost,what's more that I gain?

Anyway in a sane mind,I don't think my life is that bad.
At least everything ain't that bad.
Although I wish it could get better but what is better to you?
Is that a limit set on ther term 'better'.
If it gets better,sure you wish it would get even better and better and best.

I heard Hender saying something like from a psychologist's view, the best is not to put emotions to a problem.
(Hender's my boss, too Clara's hubby.)

Erm..nice preach advice!
But ha.ha.ha.ha.ha.ha~huh?


For two days in a row,I have been:

1)Dreaming of someone else who..well isnt here anymore and shouldnt be.
2)Goes to work with bad hair day.
3)Indigestion.
4)Feeling fat which I hereby announced it's a long term problem for me!
5) Etc...


In a nutshell,this is again a fuck off entry.

*Shrugs*

Oh blah...

A gnawing indescrible unknown anger?

One of the things I wanna do before I die.

Laugh so hard that the noodle/beehoon/pasta whatever that you can think of, came out from my nose.

Tell me if it hurts.

Sunday is:
(In the below occurence order.)


I woke up at noon.
Went to toilet.
Fell asleep again, at my parents' bed now.
Woke up 2 hours later.
Went to wash up.
Switched on the TV.
Trying to find some leftovers from dinners.
Only left with a pack of Maggie mee.
Cooked it.
Tried to make it as spicy as possible but failed.
Tasted kinda sour for the laska flavor.
Finished it nevertheless.
Watched the old films of Martial Law and Jacky Cheung.
Adored those films of my era.
Finished noodles.
Chucked everything at the washing basin.
Swept the floor.
Mopped it.
Washed the plates and cups.
Fed Stinky & 'ko.(If you still remembered them.)
Fold the clothes.
Put them into their respective drawers.
Bathed.
Cut & Pasted*.(hehz)
Put some hair cream which is supposed to act as mask purposes on my hair. (Dont think they help much but well,since I bought it might as well finish it.)
On the pc.
Blog hop.
Nothing new at Friendster.
Deleted junk mails.
Listened to Keane.
Blah,blah,blah~
Washed my head again.
Placed the towel on my head.(like now)
Type somemore.
Nothing to do.
Went to fridge to find something to munch.
Dragon fruits!
Took a bite and throw up.
Wondered it went soured or it is just soured.
Put it back to fridge.
Came back.
Blog.
Blog.
Shall mark my 'homework' later.
Nothing's good on tv later.(oh Charity shows AGAIN!)
Feel like sleeping the lazy Sunday but think better not.




Introducing the jellies Jason bought yesterday for me.
^^




What I drew on his hand during dinner last night.



Taken very long ago...very very long ago, with my crumppy mobile in the so called Sepia mode..haha.

This...Sunday Morning

Could be more special if you are the first one I see when I open my eyes.

27 and one.

Would you wanna be Snow white and I'll be prince?

Hehz.

Kidding~I wanna be Snow white!

It is another 5 days down!

Instead of retracking my blog all the time,I decided to forward it a lil.

This Sunday is gonna re-sume the old Sundays that I used to get by.
Those kinda lonely but carefree Sundays.
Of cos it only mean no more lunch and more houseworks.

But at least I am comforted by the fact that daddy has got a job.
Hope this is it.

Did I mentioned my sales target was increased?
I was kinda surprised that Sept sales dropped by a significant few hundreds cos' by right my Sept records were more?

The stress part came whereby I had difficulty maintaining,let alone hitting the target and exceed it.

Oct is approx my 4th month here.

Would I hit $10k by end of year 1?
Or even better..faster!

Sure it's hard to breathe but I am grasping for every air.

Second thing is that I realised I didnt really want Fyn to go.

No doubt this is a nice place but I dun wanna lose a friend.

Fyn is too nice to be a sales person.
So to prevent her from going and/or being let go,I figure that I must help her in hitting the targets too.
The idea is to maintain & exceed my sales, and helping her at the same time.

Oh..dont try to apprehend what I am talking about.
You may get it all wrong.

Third thing...

This is the point of life I didnt want it to stop as it is.

This is the hunger point.
Feel like pushing for more and getting more.
Not that I want them personally..but seriously..all those things I wanna acheive had become my marked trophies.
Trophies being trophies are of no great use to me but some displaying ornaments.

This is the point whereby I thought what's ahead that I wanna do.

This is the point whereby I literally and technically trying to worn myself out and ZzZ.


Zzz.










What a blah entry.



Zzz

I have a more than sensible head on top of me.

It is an advantage.
It is a blessings.
It is too a burden.
But it is only but necessary.


So many things that I wish I couldnt understand.
But I'm glad I did.

So many things that I wish I wouldn't hear.
But I'm happy that I heard.

I'm sick of questioning and being questioned why's/how's the maturity?
I am just like this.
I grew to be like that.

No..I am not really that mature.
There are alot of things that I aint able to take it so liberally & easily.
There are alot of habits that you will realised that are really childish if you really notice.

No...I am not trying to explain who I am.

People are right about me.
What they see is me.

I handled my work,carried myself with a style that's ahead of my age.

Aint proud cos I didnt do it with perfection.
I can't.
There is only a degree of how good I can do..always?

Refusing to admit so,I kept pushing myself.
But my results cant break through.

Anyway received a sms from my bro at uk today.
But he claimed he msg the wrong person,asking me to ignore it.(which I did.)

It's only the same old bad news.
I didnt wanna let my parents know,wondering if I'm right to do so.

Yesterday was his birthday.
I sent him a ecard with the warmest greetings.
I literally forget every debts he owed my parents and really just wish that he will be safe n fine there.

Looks like it's just the same.
Heavy disappointment.

I dunno what else to say,man.

So far I have not let my personal affairs meddle with work.
I am almost worry-less at work.
I just deal withthose craps at work,taking every of which a learning opportunity.

Anyone realised that it is so breaking inside?

At times like this,I wish for a perfect solution presented to me.
Wish for money to fall from sky.
Wish for certain stroke of incredible (good) fortune from this moment.
Wish for everything good.
Wish for world peace.


Wish for a corner to shed my tears.


But I realised...

No matter how hard I cried,(bad) things wont diminish.
I still gotta take it with bags of salt and deal with it.
Day still comes,night still falls.

And I dont have that much tears to spare.
















Of coz' dont deny me of my tears too.

How mature/sensible/strong this gal can be...she's only a gal with 21 years of life yet.

How do you feel when...

When the weather is cold?


Somewhat romantic but lonely for me.


When you see elderly asking for aid($)on the streets?

Shame to admit,I seldom donate or give them money.
My heart felt the terrible pinch each time I shunned...I felt ashamed of it really.
Could have swear that if I am very rich,I would never hesistate to give whatever help I can.
But again..ain't no excuse,I know.


When your parents just cant really get along..sometimes?(or really pretty much lately.)

Felt as if Beatles is singing heavy rock songs.
Hehz...=/



The feeling of studying strikes you every now and then?

But it is just the feel that I seek.
Oh well,aint gonna add to my bothersome list now.
Not at the moment,I guess.


It's bad hair day again?

Craps.-_-



Miss friends?

=)




Somemore..but I lost the blog touch again.

Till then.

This entry may cause some stings to the eyes.

Most people would have remember me with short hair.
Only some saw me with longer hair before.

I tried to keep it longer but trust me,it's not easy.
My hair growth is pretty fast.
Witin a short month,I would require some trimming.

And the sad thing is I kinda have a phobia towards guys' stylist.
I dunno why.
I dont care if they are short,fat,tall,handsome,gay or man.
I just feel kinda weird and shy to say, to get them do my hair.

So on my way to my usual $12 salon,I chickened out upon seeing that guy who colored my hair the last time the only one in the salon.(ok,excluding the cashier aunite and the sweeping floor young gal.)
See!
It's not that I don't know him or what,but I chickened out!
(Not to mention this 'chicken' act cost me an upgrade of another 10 bucks for the other salon.)
Darn!


Anyway~
The rest of this entry would be photos I took pre and post cut.
Promise me that if you insist seeing,don't be afraid.
I was makeup-less(not that I had lot of makeup before though).
It's the after work tired look.
Really aint a piece of art but...

You wont mind how I look right?

;)















Here goes:










I did warn you.





























=)















Before haircut, hair styled and normal.


-I know this dark but dark's the beauty.













A discreet shot at salon before haircut.

-Hell...dont YURKS!I cant pose yea?This a DISCREET shot.












My LASTEST LOOK!



-Kidding -_- This a fun shot at Toysaurus.













After cut @ home. Unstyled and all.



-Hmmm..ok,dont comment.



Introducing my brother.

-Heehee.Don't look at him lidat. He's 1.81m,mind you!





Well..actually this is him.



-Who cares,I look good can liao~lol!



Finally tired of trying to get a good shot,I decided to pose with one of the poses I HATE!


Hey,I succeeded to get a shot to look really bad in it.





xD













Your eyes hurt now,isnt it?




I told ya.

I don't know when exactly this whole thing started.
Perhaps it started since I was there.
But it's only recently that it starts to break my heart all over again.

This is starting to feel less and less like a place I know.

Oh well...Should find more stuff to occupy my time after work next month onwards.

Oh no~another vulgar post. Please skip.=)

Well..if you insist reading.














































For some strange reason,I woke up feeling uneasy today.
And this feeling stays with me throughout the day & night.

Well...my morning started with a fucking nuisance call once I stepped in the office.

I simply can't stand people who decided to pick up the job and within a very short period of time(that can be as short as one working day) decided that that job is unsuitable for them.

Hey read my lips,you fucking parasites.

"What the Fuck!"

For my friends who read this,I know you don't often see this F word coming outta my mouth.
But it's time you know this, this word comes as easy like I'm an ang moh.

I just don't like to use in publicly and too often in front of people,not that I'm trying to pretend but let's admit this..not all people can register that F word as easy as I can say it.

Anyway~~

I dont care if you are 17 or 70!
As long as you stepped out to work,please bear that working responsibility like you should!

What's the fucking idea of telling me that you think you are not suitable for the job or the job aint suitable for you within such a short time!
You haven't even try yet!

You think it's very easy to get you parasites a job huh?!

I spent great deal of effort to earn that fucking tiny commision that don't even come from a cent of yours and you fucking parasites wanna come and go as you wish?

Well..as you fucking wish,I mean.

Fuck that idea off.

You get the job from me,you bloody stay there and commit for my minimum requirement or pay me back.

And I dont even care about your compensation.You are risking my relationship with my clients.

So you parasites stay there or I wish you die of proverty soon.

I fear..what loneliness can do to sanity.

It especially felt so on a London-like Sunday.
Cold,wet,gloomy.
(An excellent weather to hibernate though)





I wondered how my dad hangs by these days.

More importantly,I wondered what can I do for him?

I cant wait for this month to end cos' I would be more free after this exam month ends.
But too I can't imagine when I'm gonna do with alot more time and lesser income then.


No wondered we seem to live so much shorter than many others.

Cos' we live lesser.

To sum off how much we don't like that yellow thing....

Disclaimer*
The photos that you see later are:

1)not an issue of challenge or pick of fight between likes and dislikes.
2)anti-childhood acts.
3)violence/vurglar acts on purpose but humor.
4)Blah,blah,blah!


^^
















Actually there are some more.
But the first few may be lost.(darn!) and the later few are too much of an unappeal picture for your view.


So...













Till the next post.^^


I really love to see you.=)

La Vie En Rose?

Why would people describe a good comfy life as a bed of roses?
Are roses nice?
More specifically, are bed fthat's full of roses nice to sleep in?

Hmm?

Wouldn't the thorns pierce your skin?

Wouldn't you be sensitive to the overwhelming aroma then?

Wouldn't you be disturb by the million of petals?

Thus La vie en Rose?

Non.

To sum off,my (work) week had been quite a hectic one.

Not to mention how dramatic today was.

It was a bad drama nonetheless a good experience.

I guess things like this just happen in my life. But I'm surprised I make it happen.

Haha

=/

I wanted to laugh each time when I heard this 'C'est Si Bon'.

I dunno why. Though I don't understand the lyrics at all(except for that C.S.B) but somehow I felt the light humour of it.

Where?I dunno.

I told you I don't understand the langauge..yet.

It is good?I guess my life ain't bad so c'est si bon!

Oh yes,it's tough. It's tiring. It's up and it's down. But still it ain't that bad coz I refused to bow to the bad side of life.

Many things,be it personal or not,can drag me down.

But I refuse to let it affect the whole of my life.Not my work the least.

I imagined.

I thought.

I dreamed.

Of the bad,ugly and worse.

My career should be the last to fall.

Don't get me wrong.I am not the ambitious type. I know the sky's the limit and I know how tall my sky is.

Each week..I tried to give a good review.

How much do I like my job?

Quite frankly there is no long future in this line.Really.

So is that it?

I love the challenges.I love the new circumstances that made me learn more.I love the thirst that this job gave and thus pushing me for more.I love the short term goal that I can vision in this line.

I love the environment so far.Though it could have been more comfortable like S.E but it's a homely touch I love.I love my colleagues most of the time.I love the easy going feel about there.And most importantly,despite the size of this company,I am very surprised and love the big clients that they have and soon..mine too.Hehz!

So?

Are all these enough?

Should I then subject myself to all these?

I know the kinda craps I will get in this line.

Be it from the clients or the candidates. It's nonstop and am I ready to get the same kinda craps for years?

Am I going to study?

Where should I go from here?

What other career should I seek?

See..it's a whole lot of complications and choices.

But again...I can't always think of my own path ahead.

Looking at how my life is right now,I only have a choice.

That is to really push forward and only by gaining a yard ahead of my colleagues' acheivements is my only satisfaction.

..

Sometimes such scare me.

I am one that get jaded easily.

The stronger I tried to be,the weaker my soul becomes.

Where is the simplicity that I want?

I realised that life is not that simple..not here at least.

C'est la vie.

C'est la vie...

Life couldnt be a bed of roses.

I guess...

The spring coil mattress that we sleep ain't that bad after all.

=)

C'est si bon.

Don't Speak!

I know what you thinking.
And I don't need no reason.
Don't tell me cos' it hurts.
-No Doubt

*Disclaimer:I dont care if the lyrics are wrong,based on my failing memory anyway.

Just a song ringing in my head.

When the week finally ends,I look so forward to a rewarding weekend.
But there are always unforseen circumstances.

Blah!

After all the hard work (@ work of coz),I hope to seek the reward that I deserved.
Thus I heavily marked the monetary items to get in my list.
Though I know when I get them,they wont be as desirable and useful to me.

But hell do I care now?

Before the year ends,I want my sales to be a jaw dropping record.
Of coz it wont be as much as my colleagues but I will break their record then.

..
Blah!

Smooch hard for a good month at least.

Lala~

Life's so far is somewhat unmotivating.
Burning desire to seek more and more.

Impatience.
Realistic.
Practical.

Traits that I developed during work.

My dreamy soul.
Is locked with you*.

Bonnuit.

Bloated

That's how I felt feel!

But I cant help to eat still.

Sigh.

Caught in the act!

Personally I think Singapore is too small of a place for any allowance of intimacy.

My day was quite busy towards the end today.
Mainly tuition was the tough part.
I wondered why it is always me working twice as hard during examinations period.
Anyway when I finally reached home,I thought I was so tired that I was seeing things.

2 nice school bags and a uniform laid just at the stairway.
Who would have discard such decent looking bags.
I thought I would 'bag' them home if they were discarded goods.

Blah!
Who knows when I make my left turn in direction to my house,there stood a secondary school couple.
Judging by that kinda uniform,that gal is definitely from an all girls school.
That guy?Maybe a all guys' school.
I bet they know each other via this virtual connection.

I breathed in a giggle.
I didnt swallow,I breathed in,inhale my giggle!

I could tell that they were pretty embarrassed but that's ok.
I wont laugh nor take a harsh view on it.
It's really ok despite the fact that they were still very young.

But hey~I understand coz everyone do it!
By saying everyone,the spotlight wont be on me.Haha.

What's there to blame.
It's not that I'm seeing them both half naked.
I think they were merely hugging or kissing at most.

Worse if I caught 2 guys or gals in the act.
Think I wont be quick enough to contain my F even though I have nothing against homosexuals.

Sigh.
Singapore..Singapore...
Here is almost too small for anything big and/or private.

(Hey..I hope noone will expose me to laws.I dont wanna get sued for too much controversial and deflamatory.)
It is so godamn fucked up if we cant even blog our own shit here.


Sigh.
Too much cussings gg on lately.

This month is gonna be hectic.

Gotta zzz.
Need the energy for a 14 hours shift.(tentatively.)

Dont worry,Mich is still that Miche from the block.

Dont think so?

See picture.











=)

Today's a fine day.
Work was usual.
Everything was usual,I guess.

When everything's so usual,I dunno what to write.

That psychotic di*khead was still on my back.
Called a few times in a office and got hung by all of us.
Called my mobile and hung off when Clara answered it.
If I'm outside,I would smack him with all the vulgarities I know.
Quite unlike me,I know but it's just that you dunno.
Don't worry,my vulgarities are within the command of English thus I cant go far.
At least I dont name the genitals parts like some Mr Ed-Die that I know.

Huh?
What do you mean di*khead is one of them?
*Feign ignorance.*


Blah.
Ok..Don't think I'm gonna continue.
Nothing much.

Leave you with 2 photos taken with few of my colleagues.


-Oops..Ok,must scratch my desire of vanity sometimes.


-Me & Cheng Cheng,an absolutely adorable lady!


-Cindy(attachment junior of mine),me & Fyn.
Trust me they are both SKINNIER than me.Sob..You know I'm not.The camera didnt catch my waist and below.

No..I NEVER edit my photos..coz I have no idea how to.
(Darn!You would FAINT if I ever edit my photos!)

What you see is what you get.

Though I admit some really look different sometimes.

Well..I blame the photographer.

=/

Whee~I've got a Gmail account!

What's the use of it?

-_-

Get into bemich@gmail.com

What's Bemich exactly?




Nothing..I'm just trying to be funny by twisting that BeWitched to BeMich~Moi.

Ok..what's next?

Puckering up..

The world is a depressing 'nuff place.
Everywhere has got tragedies and so on.

Well..Guess we should all learn to pucker up and kiss the new week.
I guess it's not so bad yet.;)
Walk in the park,yea?



You never know what you may see.
;)

It is quite not-possible for me to hit hiatus.

For blogging that it.
See life's precious and technically there is no way to capture and savour every second.
The next best way (to me) is to have them written down.
That is to say that Blogspot.com lasts forever.

It has been a long week as usual.
The weekdays so long yet the weekend blinks.

Well...to say I still enjoy working in a lean sense.
I just dont like it when it becomes monotonous.

In my own school of thinkings, I think that proverty your financial status, your marital status, whether ya schooling or not, in a sitting on a 4oth floor building or flipping burgers at basement,it really doesnt matter.

It's the lifestyle that we have to lead.

In Singapore,you can really only spell and write this word (I mean, Life style) if you are so damn filthy bloody rich.

Again it is only when you are rich, you are fit to talk about things like dreams and live a life.

Oh dont blah me with nonsenses telling me I'm not right.

Yea,I admit I am not fully right but that wont mark me wrong either.

Say you dont have a family to support, the figures that your parents had been inputting in your bank is enough to last you till uni and so on.

You come out to work and that is really an option for you.
To you, youth is youth.
21 is 21.
Long way ahead.
You can work a few months,taking it as an experience, a thrill ride.
Think you dont like it,change it.

Having your passport chopped is not a big deal.
Hey,you should see the world while you have the time.
What's the point of trying to fly ard only when ya old and frilly.
But then again, when it's time for your retirement..you call it reminiscent trips.
Oh blah~

You would like to venture on your own.
Get a partner or not is luck.
So you have your own business.
Realise it's not as easy, close it then.
Hey it's not so bad, take it as an experience.

Technically you have what we call life.

So what's my point of reiterating the whole issue of Rich & Poor again?

No point, I ain't trying to prove anything.

Well, anything about that would have longed been proven beyond a shadow of doubt.

Anyway what I'm trying to say is that this is Singapore.
If ya not rich, you have to slog it.
Take it.
Even when ya old and frilly,you have to slog it.
Working at toilet,at BK,at foodcourt..whevever cheap but you still got to take it.

The whole lifestyle here is way too stereotypicated and suffocating.
The only good thing I could think of is the safe strategic location of Singapore.

Sure there are still a hundred more things that I could count my blessings.
But face it, the grass remains greener on the other side.
You try minusing the number of times you find yourself envying and dreaming about the life you want & cuss about what you are having now AND the number of times you thank God that you are not born inthe Third World Countries.
I dunno how saint you are, but I can frankly assure you that my results are like England team Vs Singapore team.
(Yes..Football,mate)


It's hard to be content living here and not quite ok to be so either.
Once ya content, it means that you are settle for it.
Hey Singapore's life wont stay managable for the rest of your life.
It gets tougher every season.
More tax,more crappy laws about your CPF and whatever,lower interest and so on.(and lower pay!)

So you only push yourself to move on.
Drive.
Get the grip.
Accelerate.

Coz we aint rich.
We cant enjoy.
Dont talk about dreams when you can barely have a lil' more dough till month ends.

I have got a lonely and sad unemployed dad right now.
He sleeps lesser and lesser.
I guess that's age.
If I'm lucky, I can still hear him and mum talking and sometimes laughing.

I have got a mum that I wouldnt want her to work that hard for too long.

But then what the crap?
This is Singapore.
Unless ya rich to travel around, not working signifies premature dying of life.
It could drives you to nuts and that's how worried I am for dad right now.

I have got a bro whose just doing odd jobs over the gloomy London.
What the hell?
It's not that you are there to realise some big ambition or a life long dream.
But now I am counting every minute of blessings that he is safe and fine there. (Not to mention I wouldnt want to hear more of that nonsense!)

And so I have got another bro whose still young and impetuous.
Young fella, still some years to go before he has got a head of his own.(hopefully by his adulthood,I dont want another like-older bro.)

Idont know if I have got any dreams.
Not too far fetch ambition, not me.

That's my placing in life.

I only want to be able to afford everything I wish to have comfortably and so for my family.

I have no wish to slog and lead this monotonous life.
But hell like I've got a choice?

The bad news is I aint got any hidden flair within me.
Cant sing,cant draw,cant act.
Cant play,cant cook.
Aint blessed with a face that can earn either.

My life cant be (like) a movie.
It's not like some talent scouts would bring me to galaxy.
It's not like some dying old man whom I just acquainted is the CEO of Creative.
It's not like I can spell happily ever after and rides away on a white house with his Highness.

Blah!
Blah!
Blah!

Well there's no point in carrying on thsi whole issue.
I'm just drilling the hole larger and larger and still it's a circle.

Anyway I watched Goal today.
Aint too bad but lots of flaws.
I wouldnt have know a thing of coz if not for that 'professional' sitting besides me.
Haha.

I love that accent and their manner of speaking.

So whatcha waiting for,son.
Go watch it.

--------------------
PS:Been sometime since a long blog like that huh?

I should say....

Some people should see it coming.

But does this spells an ending that I can mock at or just a new beginning that would puts me from victory to defeat?

But looking at things now, I guess I'm not too far off.

At least I still know my life is not of a loser's.

I just need more fuel and more results!

Don't tell me that the rest of my life is gonna be like this.

Too...fucking...boring.

Is there nothing than slogging your my ass off, always thinking about the goodness of studying but I know I'm not going to, getting the load from my family and so on?

Freak that I'm only 1 plus 20 years.

I could and want to have more but I'm dragged behind.

Reality kills everything.

I hate to sleep coz I fear tomorrow comes.

But I have to sleep coz tomorrow will come.

Contradictory thoughts but beautiful...

What's new is bad.

Hiatus mode is still on.
Just thought I would like to vent it here before I feel too sad about it.

My parents cant communicate indeed.
My dad is so lonely that my heart aches.
He plans to move to China and stays till next year (tentatively) if he couldnt get a job by this month.
They are not talking..much.
My bro is still at UK for nothing.
I wondered what's the point.
But as long as he is happy (& safe)and wont bring trouble back home,I will be glad.
My work sucks alot of time.
Especially for that Caltex House,I loathe!


For such a bad September, I just wondered if my October is gonna improve and so before the year ends.

Sigh.

On board on the Runaway Train

How on earth did I get myself so jaded?
Life's mysteries seem so fated.
I can go where noone else can go.
I know what noone else knows.
Here I am just drowning in the rain.
With a ticket for a runaway train.



*Hiatus*

What do you take me for...Really?

I cant describe how I feel now.

It was a good mixture of everything bad finished with a fuck up touch.

How to say and should I even carry on blogging here.

Somethings...
When it is gone,it should remained there.

If it was a decision to let go,it is to be gone.

I am such.
I dont like to bite back and do backward roll.

Yes,I do love reminiscing.
But reminiscing is all that I do.
All that I will do.

I am always circling in my own rounds,in my own world.
Been waiting..been waiting.
Been waiting for someone to be able to join me and then bring me out.

What have I been taken for?

How to tell you that I dont like this at all.
You may not realised this.
But I felt that I have been taken for a ride.(and it was a bad one!)

Am I supposed to feel glad,touch,sorry?

Above all I felt ultimate .... hollowness.
Once that really hurt , was cavity now.
I long buried them inside so noone can sees, so I wont really remember every other then.

When I thought I was forsaken.
When I thought it was gone.

You come tapping on my shoulder that I am just fooling myself.

Sigh.
Am I?

I was not wrong when things happen then.
Was I?

If I am,then why arent you here?


When my world was down, who was there?
Noone ok?
Not physically nor spiritually.


Then now I realised that you were behind me,watching me..but where is the hand that I need?

Everyone is just waiting.
Waiting for me to climb up and walk again.
Like I will always be fine.

Sure I will be coz who else can I wait?

I am telling the world off.
Dont just think that I love to mask myself with such emotions.

It IS a fact that none is here.
You left.
So go?

Why break my heart and then tell me that you are still here.

Where?
Why cant I see?


I never forget the nights that I have to cry alone.
My pillows stained with my tears.
Who wipe my tears the next morning?
My eyes are long swollen.
You are still not here.


Even if you want to.
Even if you mean to.
But when you see me, you didnt do anything at all.


Many times I am waiting but I shielded.


Now I refused to bring my true smile.

Too many chances.
Too many people.
Too many misses.
Too many mistakes.

The longer I bear myself, the colder I feel.




Noone is here.
Dont tell me you are here.
You are NOT by my side when I need.
Register that.


If you left,please leave.
If you have not step in, dont attempt to when you dont possess that key.


I cant take anymore chances.

Be kind?
To who?


A fool I am?


Runaway train..never going back.

Some habits die the hard way....Ouch.

Gimme some time to think of writing this post.

I had some running thoughts the night before.

Poof!

Gone.

But I like that title,so gimme a lil bit more time.

Some habits die the hard way....Ouch.

Gimme some time to think of writing this post.

I had some running thoughts the night before.

Poof!

Gone.

But I like that title,so gimme a lil bit more time.